I’ve noticed as I’ve talked to fellow bumblers about our bumblees, we never call them by their actual name. I think it’s just better that way. Calling them anything other than our appointed nickname means shit could be starting to get real. It personalizes it. More importantly perhaps, it helps us keep them straight – it’s a real possibility that we could be bumbling with the same guy. It’s always fun when I get with my best bumble gal pal (she calls me her non homo girlfriend) and we whip out our phones to compare notes. “Oh yeah, I saw that guy” or “Oh shit. I think I have that guy too”
Making sure that you have enough bumblers going on at any given time is also called keeping the stable full. Gotta keep enough ponies in your stable. Because they float in and out quickly. And if you don’t have a full stable, that means you have to start from scratch and that can be exhausting. So, when you hear someone say that their stable is in good shape, know that they probably have around 4 or 5 conversations going on, could be seeing a few IRL, possibly fucking one or all of them, and probably not actively swiping. Once you get down to 2, you gotta tend to your stable.
A smattering of some of the nicknames we’ve given our ponies, past and present:
Lexington Attorney
The Plumber (that was a good phone call when one of my Bumble squad calls and said, “well, I fucked the plumber.” ) Words you just never plan on saying. Ever.
New Years Eve
Two month guy
The cleanse dude
Dirty Micah
Phone Boy
Yoga boy
Ground control to neighbor Tom (that one still makes me LOL)
The Accountant
The happy black dude
The guy who said I’ll see you later and I said no you won’t.
The Lobbyist (Actual conversation between the bumbler and her boss: Boss – What are you doing tonight? Bumbler – The Lobbyist.)
29 year old that I made out with in the bathroom at Taj
30 year old Casey (y’all remember him)
Beer guy
Lumberjack guy
The Mexican (who, incidentally, finger banged a fellow Bumbler in the men’s bathroom at Senor Frogs in Cancun. Which is awesomely dirt dirt dirrrrrty)
Eric with a c
Erik with a k
Erick with a ck
Rodger with a D
CEO
The Marine
North Carolina
The one we will never speak of again
Lexington married
Lake House
PGA
The red neck
The drunk
Stoplight Mike (of course)
Delta
The barber
-And-
The nerdy guy
Bumble. Stumble 