Excited to have a guest contributor today! Meet Brian Fee, a Virgo from Chicago who would probably love long walks in the park if his leg wasn’t in a cast.

He has titled this little gem of an album, you guessed it, just the tip. Thank you, Brian! I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’ll see from you.

It’s interesting when you Bumble in real life.

I don’t know who you are, random texting bandit, but thank you for your proper use of contractions. Even at 4:15 AM.

A fellow bumbler as she steps outside of her comfort zone to keep the bumblee engaged. LOL. She totally does NOT love swallowing. Suckers. Literally and figuratively.

Oh deer.

One of the differences that I’ve noticed being single in my 40’s, as opposed to my 20’s, is that at least I can see the red flags now when I meet someone. Of course, it’s totally up to me if I choose to heed my own advice and acknowledge them, or ignore them. But, at least I know they are there. In my 20’s, I wouldn’t have known a red flag if it punched me in the eye. Out of nowhere, punched in the eye.

The 23 year old me would have totally ignored the red flags with Stoplight Mike. But the 43 year old me didn’t! (I just totally high fived myself. You GO girl!). The story: I was at the intersection of Westport Rd. and Hurstbourne Lane around 7 AM. I see, out of the corner of my eye, some dude, in the lane next to me, waving furiously. I roll down my passenger window (actually I rolled down my back passenger window first because I got the buttons confused and I’m just cool like that). This guy, Mike, talks to me, gives me a few compliments and asks for my number. When I said no, he asked me to take his. Eh, fuck it, I’ll take your number Stoplight Mike!

At the end of the day, I sent him this:

And we went back and forth a bit, and then this:

And this:

He’s 29 and an artist. And 25 year old me would have immediately started swooning. But not 40’s me. Oh. God.

I tried to shake him, but he kept on.

(SURELY, 25 year old me would have thought this was a red flag. Maybe. I think? Hopefully?)

Gotta give the guy credit, though. He kept on for a bit with no response from me. (Ummmm. Red Flag much?)

So, look at me!!! My first attempt at recognizing and addressing red flags was a smashing success!!! Dude. I got this! Take it to the bank and give it a pat on the ass. In other news, this guy seems hot…